i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
