so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
