I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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