She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
