I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
