whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
my poor anus
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
