I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
