Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Someone shit on the floor
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
