New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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