She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
