So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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