Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
