help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
