somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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