I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just google imaged poop.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
