Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
