My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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