that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
