weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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