I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
