Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she pinky promised me she was 18
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
