sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
