Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
