im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
