Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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