summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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