you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
