i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
