your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
