I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
