My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
