Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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