Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
