If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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