so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
