Cold hands, warm shart.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
