we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
