I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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