They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
