I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
