I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
