She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
