Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
