I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
