i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
