On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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