dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
