The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
