I wanna passion pit in your ass
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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