just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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