i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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