Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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