This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
