Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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