I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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