we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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