you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
