My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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