shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
please come you make the beer taste better
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
