eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize