I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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