She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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