oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You pole danced in your parka.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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