You really coming over, don't trick.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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