Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
